so we're on our second snow day, with one already called in for tomorrow. so this is starting as a way to keep my sanity. three days stuck at home is not my idea of a fun three days... first day, maybe. but once you hit three (two really), i'm out on the fun call. and i don't even really understand why there is three days of this anyway! i look out my window to about an inch and a half of snow. i can even see the little tips of grass coming up in the snow. the roads are pretty icey really - my parking lot has a good half inch or inch of ice covering it. but we just need salt - salt i say! i may be out there with my little salt shaker to get my car out tomorrow just so i can get out of my place.
anyway... my life at the moment. as this is the first post, maybe i should update some. i've just started my second semester of med school. i'm about a month in and already finished with the first class - GI. not my favorite or best class ever, but oh well, it's over. on to the kidneys...
first semester was... a combination of the best and the worst 5 months of my life (July to December). the adjustment to grad school is... indescribable. at least it was for me. the first 6 weeks of our semester was 8-5 pretty much every day. so that was very different than my 10-2 schedule in undergrad. then the studying itself was ridiculous. study as i might there was just not enough time in the day to get it all done. stress upon stress built up over the five months as well as insecurity from school spilling into the rest of my life put me in... a dark place. luckily i have a fantastic dad who helped me and saw me through. not that others didn't help me and try to help me, but he always has a way of helping me understand by letting me talk when i need and not talking when i need time to work through stuff in my head. long story short - he helped. and long story short - i've learned. what have i learned you say? it's hard to put it into words. my significance does not lie in this thing i do. easy statement, right? then i challenge you. take what you do for your job, your family, your car, your house, your money - anything you find important and what you want to do in your life and try to get to a place where you can say 'if i fail at this... if i lost this, i will still be every bit as important and wonderful as i am right now'. am i there? no. am i working at it? yes.
now i said it's the best and worst 5 months. ill expand on the happy part of that. i have never enjoyed what i have been studying more than i am now. the human body is wonderfully beautiful and amazing. every day i'm amazed at how God put us together and how the details all work hand in hand to give us the ability to breathe in and out and run and have a heartbeat. His amazing hands are in every piece of it and i get to study how he put us together every day. and study how to heal it. it's an amazing opportunity that i'm blown away with sometimes. as much stress as it adds into my life i wouldn't change it. that is not to say, however, that some days i don't hate it or don't wish i was made for something else. but i was made with a purpose. i could not have gotten where i am without a little help, so therefore i can't help but be sure of this is my place. this is where i'm meant to be. and in that i find peace.